Modesty and Veil Festival

Thinkin' 'bout some fun stuff to do this summer? Though you might have a few issues with the U.S. Department of State (there are travel restrictions imposed on Americans; you really need approvals for some trips.. like to Cuba, North Korea and Iran), and the Iranian government may or not issue you a visa, but have you considered the upcoming Modesty and Veil Festival scheduled in Tehran later this month? For those addicted to adventure travel – something different, really – this has to be even more exciting than a recent trip by New York Times correspondent, Maureen Dowd, who decided that some journalistic tourism of a single-unaccompanied-by-a-male adult female to Saudi Arabia might be just the ticket. Her experience is all chronicled in the August issue of Vanity Fair, and it makes for some great reading. Let's just say the local religious police really don't like anything Western or even the slightest hint of a female form, an arm or even an ankle.

But the Festival should be a stitch, and you can blow Maureen's fun moments away with a few of your own. Look, Shiite Iran has more than a few extreme views on what is proper and modest. Like that warm and fuzzy cleric, Hojjat ol-eslam Kazem Sediqi, you know… "that guy"… who earlier this year noted what has to be obvious to all: "Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes." As if!!! Who doesn't know that already?! "What's shakin', babe?"

You know you're in for a good time since the festival is approved by Iran's Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance. What could go wrong? When you see some babe clicking down the street (are those high heels deep beneath the black folds of your chador?), you might think that under that drift of black cloth is a micro-mini and some "sweat your heart out" lingerie beckoning. Clink your glasses of champagne behind closed doors and hope that the religious police don't break down the door and haul you away for all sorts of violations (alcohol is just one extreme violation that can get you lashed and jailed). Hey, there, pull that head scarf down a notch (I'm seeing ear); you're too smoldering hot with seething sexuality.

While men have been slammed for a few things – like tight, low-slung jeans – for the most part men have escaped the wrath of the religions police. Well not anymore! The July 6^th AolNews.com: "Worried that Western ideas might be seeping into -- and onto -- the heads of their nation's young men, Iran's religious leaders have issued a catalog of acceptable 'Islamic' male haircuts. Ponytails, spikes, mullets and Mohawks are now forbidden, but Elvis-style locks, floppy fringes and Simon Cowell-esque flattops get the ayatollahs' seal of approval… 'The proposed styles are inspired by Iranians' complexion, culture, religion and Islamic law,' Jaleh Khodayar, the fair's female organizer, told Agence France-Presse. 'We are happy that the Islamic republic of Iran's government has backed us in designing these hairstyles.'" The unveiling of these new approved hairstyles at the Festival alone has to be worth the trip without more. But think of the new headscarves and chadors that you might see… Paris' fashion week has nothing on Tehran! Are you listening Paris and Milan? Are you sensing the fashion and feeling the love?

I'm Peter Dekom, and the fact that these edicts are taken very seriously in the Islamic world shows you exactly how wide the differences between our cultures really are.