Every now and again, I have to leave the somber world of global socio-economic issues and slide into my half-baked world of soft news and hard puns. Occasionally, pride has to leave the building, if for no other reason than a quick snack. So let’s roll! Yup, it seems that history is in a jam, spreading itself abysmally thin, as dietary changes consume France. “Pain” (prounced “pahn” meaning bread) is clearly experiencing a lot of pain.
When our Dough Boys fought in France in the Great War (World War I), the French ate between two and three of their infamous baguettes a day. Lower class and upper crust! Over time, and I know this is hard to swallow, the French have stopped being… er… so French. “The average Frenchman these days eats only half a baguette a day compared with almost a whole baguette in 1970 and more than three in 1900. Women, still the main shoppers in most families, eat about a third less than men, and young people almost 30 percent less than a decade ago.” New York Times, July 30th.
Bakers, you have your rights! Stand your ground! Or ground wheat, anyway. Stop milling about and put your nose to the grindstone! Fight back, and so they are. “The decline is so worrisome that Observatoire du Pain [Bread Observer], the bakers’ and millers’ lobby, started a nationwide campaign in June that champions bread as promoting good health, good conversation and French civilization.
“‘Coucou, tu as pris le pain?’ (‘Hi there, have you picked up the bread?’) is the campaign’s slogan. Modeled on the American advertising campaign ‘Got Milk?’ the bread slogan was plastered on billboards and inscribed on bread bags in 130 cities around the country.
“‘Eating habits are changing,’ said Bernard Valluis, a co-president of the lobby. ‘People are too busy or work too late to go to the bakery. Teenagers are skipping breakfast. Now when you see the word ‘coucou,’ we want it to be a reflex for consumers to say to themselves, ‘Ah, I have to buy bread today.'’” NY Times. What is a leaven worth?
Zut, alors! I camembert the news! (A bit too cheesy, no?) Bring me a batch of Freedom Fries now, to ease the pain! Ugh! Baguettes are as French as berets, wine at lunch, smelly cheese, a touch of arrogance and a dash of Je ne sais quoi. A definite benefit of visiting France, a veritable French benefit! Ugh, encore! Particularly tough for those of you on the yeast coast, closer to the continent, but not yet in-continent. Make the mauvais homme stop!
It seems that in the 1960s, the quality of baguettes hit a fork in the road: artisanal craftsmen versus low quality mechanized mass production that began to create flavorless bread. For purists, there is only one way to make this French delight: “The ‘tradition,’ as it is called, is more expensive than the ordinary baguette, which uses additives, a fast-rising process and mechanization, and accounts for about 75 percent of the country’s bread sales.
“‘The methods for making the two breads are not at all the same,’ said Philippe Levin, a baker in Paris’s Ninth Arrondissement on the Right Bank with 25 years in the business. ‘The secret to making a good tradition is time, time, time. Fermentation is very, very slow. The aromas, the sugar have to emerge. It takes a good three and a half, four hours from start to finish.’” NY Times. All this noise about the proverbial bun in the oven! Sure hope it pans out for them!
I’m Peter Dekom, and it’s time to leave that white bread flavorless world into a new world that could possibly flour again!
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