Grumpy Old Men (And Women)

As they say, getting old is not for the faint of heart. As we witness an increasing number of Americans hitting the century mark and beyond, as the aging floors of pension plans and Social Security/Medicare seem to be falling away, the added medical issues of worn body parts, arthritis, cataracts and type 2 diabetes make the struggle that much harder. As I watched a very entertaining return of John Stewart to the Daily Show, he excoriated a nation that, in the last two elections, the two major US parties have nominated or are likely to nominate the oldest candidates in our nation’s history. He pointed out that he considered himself old at 61, but that was about two decades younger than Biden and Trump.

Looking at the media’s depiction of Joe Biden, he does seem to bear the brunt of unflattering ageist description. His use of the wrong names, his halting style of speech (forgetting he overcame stuttering), his shuffling walk, using of anachronistic words (and that’s no malarkey) overwhelm ageist descriptions of Donald Trump. The former president makes naming mistakes, which are noted, but we seldom hear about his obvious swollen mid-section at the edge of being morbidly obese. As pundits wonder if Biden could make it through vigorous second terms, there is seldom mention of the litany of life ending ailments that are triggered by people who are as seriously overweight as Donald Trump. If mental issues are relevant, I would submit that angry Donald Trump has more of those DSM psychological mental impairments than Biden.

Under US law, unjustified age discrimination in employment is actionably illegal. Not if you are over 70, people forget. I note that at one major university’s gerontology course, students are dressed in heavily weighted sumo wrestling costumes and face a day with a body that just doesn’t work the way they expect. Life is harder as you age, and younger people are often uncomfortable in the presence of senior citizens. While older minds do deteriorate, for most older adults, the loss is undetectable. Yet, we hear the use of “senior moment” hovering around “mentally losing it” for lapses that could apply to someone in their 20s.

We do make life increasingly and unjustifiably difficult when we easily apply the pejorative ageist stereotyping to older people. Writing for the February 15th Los Angeles Times, UCSF Assistant Professor of Sociology, Stacy Torres, responds to the torrent of recent media reports generating massive flows of these descriptive terms. The trigger for her piece was the choice of words in Trump-era-appointed Special Counsel Robert K Hur’s quote in his determining that prosecuting Joe Biden for mishandling security documents was not merited:

“Among the ageist stereotypes in Hur’s characterization of Biden as ‘a sympathetic, well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory,’ the word “elderly” leaps out as most cringe-worthy in its power to conjure images of frailty and helplessness… Many of us who study aging avoid ‘senior citizen’ and ‘elderly,’ which can reinforce negative stereotypes that isolate old people as a different and separate social group.

“Sociologist Arlie Hochschild calls the seemingly respectable “senior citizen” an “unfortunate phrase suggesting a large boy scout with a gold watch.” But just because “elderly” is so ubiquitous doesn’t make it appropriate or innocuous.

“Ageism remains a widely accepted prejudice. I love late-night talk shows, yet a sampling of hosts’ recent monologues reveals rampant jokes targeted toward old people (yes, I’m looking at you, Stephen Colbert). Ageism defies political persuasion, as one can see in Nikki Haley’s ‘grumpy old men’ campaign, which takes cheap shots at Biden’s and Donald Trump’s ages. Picking on older people doesn’t seem to stir the same type of outrage as insults about other social identities such as race, ethnicity and gender.”

While age and the accompanying wisdom is cherished in some cultures (e.g., Japan, and Native American tribes), there is an undercurrent of perceived challenges to older people being able to compete and lead in a rapidly changing, technologically based society. “Digital natives” are perceived as able to make better decisions than those who are not. The media are rife with stories of grandparents unable to communicate with their grandchildren on digital platforms, but there is little talk about these younger technically savvy cohorts making mistakes that stem from a disdain of studying the past or deferring to wisdom that only comes with experience.

But even in countries where age is considered basis for respect, as average population age declines, leaders hint at how they regard their own ages. For example, have you ever seen a major member of China’s senior members of the Politburo with gray hair? Torres suggests that we choose our vocabulary addressing people above a certain age with more care: “Culture change is hard and progresses at a glacial pace. But as our older adult population swells, the rest of us must catch up with choosing age-inclusive language. Content producers can take the lead in mitigating ageist portrayals, but everyone should scrutinize the language we use.

“Recent revisions to the Associated Press style guide, drawing on guidance from the American Geriatrics Society, offer a good start to writing about older people with greater specificity, accuracy and respect. In addition to retiring ‘elderly’ and ‘senior citizen,’ the AP suggests using ‘older adults’ or ‘older person/people’ in general phrases and employing more precise age ranges when it’s possible, such as ‘new housing for people 65 and over.’

“I’ve wrestled with decisions around language to describe the older adults I write about in my forthcoming book. I don’t use ‘elderly’ but I’ve come to use ‘elder,’ inspired by geriatrician Louise Aronson’s reclaiming of the word to connote respect for people over age 65. I also don’t treat ‘old’ like a dirty word to avoid. As someone who lost my mother to an early death from cancer at age 53, I hope to live long enough to grow ‘old.’” As medical science extends life expectancy, we really need to deal with a very significant cohort of our society with genuine sensitivity, increasingly with dignity and respect.

I’m ye olde Peter Dekom, and I am happy to go intellectually toe-to-toe with anyone at any age… and I just might surprise more than a few… or not!