The Supremes

Diana, Flo and Mary? I’m showin’ my age, but there are oldies stations… Who’s that singin’ Stop! In the Name of Love? Oh my God, it’s Barack Obama doin’ one of those YouTube thangs. Sounds more like rap, though, just words, and the rhyming a bit flat… but he is congratulating Axis of Evil (okay, not his chorus line anyway) Iran on their springtime holiday (Nowruz – Persian New Year). Talkin’ about r-e-s-p-e-c-t (just a touch of Aretha Franklin) and historical accomplishment. Wishin’ them well and hoping to parlay with them real soon. Signalin’ change. Okay, he did add that if Iran wanted to play with the rest of the world, that such international stature “cannot be reached through terror or arms, but rather through peaceful actions that demonstrate the true greatness of the Iranian people and civilization.”

Enter the “other Supreme” – Iran’s Supreme leader (he speaks for God, as we all know), Ayatollah Ali Khamenei with his back-up singers. The massive crowd, gathered in the town of Mashhad, was feelin’ it as they join in one of their favorite rap tunes, Death to America! He watched the Obama-rap video, but I guess he wasn’t feelin’ it. Courtesy of the March 21^st New York Times, I will present the Ayatollah’s rappin’ response, albeit not exactly in the order that it was “sung out”:

“They chant the slogan of change but no change is seen in practice. We haven't seen any change... He [Obama] insulted the Islamic Republic of Iran from the first day. If you are right that change has come, where is that change? What is the sign of that change? Make it clear for us what has changed... Have you released Iranian assets? Have you lifted oppressive sanctions? Have you given up mudslinging and making accusations against the great Iranian nation and its officials? Have you given up your unconditional support for the Zionist regime? Even the language remains unchanged... They say [the Obama administration has] stretched a hand toward Iran... If a hand is stretched covered with a velvet glove but it is cast iron inside, that makes no sense.”

My foot’s a-tappin’… picturing the warmth of American hostages held for 444 days starting in 1979, when, after a violent regime change, another Ayatollah (Khomeini) and the U.S. ended diplomatic relations. Picturin’ the warmth back as President Bush created the profoundly unuseful “Axis of Evil” label in a 2002 speech – Iran was at the top of the list.

Iran wants nukes. I can hear the tune: Back in My Nuclear Arms Again. So, satisfied? Iran has gained credibility – even among its perennial enemies, the Sunnis who violently disagree with Shiite/Iran’s mystical view of the Qu’ran – by supporting fundamentalist Sunni Hamas fighters against Palestinian Fatah and in their armed conflict with Israel. They’ve always supported the Shiite Hezbollah in Lebanon, as they made strikes into Israel.

Iran makes political capital – and distracts the Iranian people who face financial ruin as their oil-based economy sinks to even greater depth – by “blaming it on the Americans and their Zionist ally, Israel.” They really need an America to hate. But do they really want to risk having their nuclear facilities taken out by an American-sanctioned Israeli preemptive strike… or even direct U.S. involvement? Is that a real possibility? Have we reduced our import of oil to make that move (which most certainly will cause a major spike in oil prices)?

Was there a glimmer of hope in the Ayatollah’s refrain, “should you change, our behavior will change too”? Will Barack have to sing, You Just Keep Me Hangin’ On? Or is there something that he can do about it? I guess You Can’t Hurry Love.

I’m Peter Dekom, and I can see you all wincing.