Now We Don Our Gay Apparel

The U.S. Supreme Court has spoken, taking down provisions of the Defense of Marriage Act and a California ballot initiative that specifically banned same sex marriage, the IRS has recognized joint returns for those in same sex marriages and thirteen states and the nation’s capital allow such unions: District of Columbia plus California, Connecticut, Delaware, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington. Social Security, however, will only apply its marriage benefits to those same sex couples living in states that allow such unions. The “full faith and credit” clause of the U.S. Constitution would seem to require states that don’t allow such marriages to accept same sex marriages legally consummated in states that do.

All well and good in the United States, but what happens when same sex couples move overseas to represent their employers in distant venues? Make that even more complex by making it U.S. government employees posted to overseas locations… in countries that do not recognize same sex marriage or deem such unions either illegal or offensive to local cultural values?

“As a result, U.S. employees and volunteers with agencies such as the State Department, the Peace Corps and the Defense Department must wrestle with how to do their jobs while honoring who they are and their host country’s values… The lives of same-sex couples serving abroad often revert to a less-tolerant past — a time before the Defense of Marriage Act ruling, the State Department’s new policy of treating all visa applicants equally, or the agency’s 2009 decision to extend legally permissible benefits to the domestic partners of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) diplomats…

“Jeremy Curtin, the department’s top human resources adviser on LGBT issues, said the Obama administration is working through the international challenges… ‘With DOMA overturned, the whole government is trying to put in rules where same-sex couples are treated that same as any other spouses,’ he said. ‘Up until now, we have not talked about these partnerships as being marriages.’

“The rules of the 1961 Vienna Convention on Diplomatic Relations require nations to grant diplomatic immunity to foreign-service workers, meaning they are supposed to be subject to the laws of their native country. Still, some governments ignore those guidelines when it comes to same-sex marriage, forcing the State Department to seek workarounds.” Washington Post, September 3^rd. Roughly 25% of the 190 countries with which the United States has diplomatic relations recognize same sex unions, but a whole lot of the rest have some pretty strong prohibitions against the practice. Sometimes, the host country won’t recognize the spouse as being entitled to the black, diplomatic passport (and status). In other circumstances, the actual union and the notion of living together is locally offensive.

We have openly gay ambassadors serving our country, including John Berry for (Australia); James Costos (Spain); James Brewster (Dominican Republic); Rufus Gifford (Denmark); and Daniel Baer (Organization for Security and Cooperation). Barriers are falling, but not everywhere. “The Peace Corps, which said this year that it will allow same-sex couples to serve together, has a long history of accepting gay volunteers. But its LGBT members often lead a double life… Mackenzie Garst, who was openly gay when she applied for the program, said the Peace Corps cautioned her about living in culturally conservative countries. She decided to conceal her sexuality while serving in Grenada from 2010 to 2012. ‘I remember practicing my mannerisms so I wouldn’t come off as gay,’ said Garst, who was 22 at the time. ‘It was like going back to my 17-year-old self.’…

“Austin Watkins had reason to celebrate when the U.S. Supreme Court overturned a key portion of the Defense of Marriage Act, marking a breakthrough in gay rights and making his husband eligible for federal benefits everywhere in the United States… But as a civilian defense worker deployed in Japan, Watkins faces a unique barrier. It turns out that a ‘status of forces agreement,’ signed 53 years ago by the United States and Japan, does not recognize same-sex marriage. That prevents him from living with his spouse in Okinawa…For now, Joseph Marcey resides thousands of miles away in Washington. He would have to apply for a tourist visa every 90 days to live in Okinawa, and he wouldn’t be able to receive medical care at military clinics, shop at a commissary or obtain a dependent ID card from the Defense Department.” The Post.

Change is slow, and in many cases it is going in the opposite direction. Homophobia now has the force of law in Russia, and there are increasingly numbers of violent attacks on gays and lesbians all over the country. We will struggle to protect our moral, social and legal values in other countries, but it seems as if this will be a long slow process.

I’m Peter Dekom, and just because it is difficult doesn’t mean we should stop trying.