Doggie Outfits

When you see canines embellished with artsy outfits strolling down the avenues, you have to wonder if the “other dogs” are rolling their eyes at such doggone festive uniforms. If Fluffy does well in pink with a matching beret and a diamond studded collar to boot, does King look down in winceful disdain? Doggie booties anyone? Dark glasses for that “hope no one recognizes me” look? OK, I can understand the hapless Chihuahua bundled up for a Minnesota winter – the dog’s from Mexico, folks! But hey, enough is enough already.

Unless you are ready for the next “rage” of must haves for that macho hound, that killer within, that manly beast that protects hearth and home. Body armor! Yeah! Cool! My dog can beat your dog, and your dog can’t even bite my dog! Grrrrr. There! This category of doggie apparel is nothing new. Police departments have been using this form of hound-vest for years as they hunt down armed suspects, known to shoot at the dogs first, people later. But as Seal Team 6 – the decimators of all things bin Laden can attest – there’s nothing like a well-armored dog at the spear tip of your attack when you are hunting down a terrorist.

“Last year, the military spent $86,000 on four tactical vests to outfit Navy Seal dogs. The SEALs hired Winnipeg, Canada,-based contractor K9 Storm to gear up their four-legged, canine partners, which it has used in battle since World War I. K9 Storm’s flagship product is the $20,000-$30,000 Intruder, an upgradeable version of their doggie armor … The tactical body armor is wired with a collapsible video arm, two-way audio, and other attachable gadgets…They’ve even gone stealth. A silent hardware system prevents any metal to metal contact--you won't hear any jangling or see any reflective give-aways .” FastCompany.com, May 16^th. Oooh! I’m getting excited! Pricey, but definitely on the Christmas shopping list… Who needs a new car anyway? The photo above is from K9 Storm’s catalog, by the way.

Picture the invasion unit, going in for bin Laden: “In Abbottabad, the patented load-bearing harness would have enabled a Navy SEAL handler to rappel from the helicopter with his dog strapped to his body. Once in the compound, the dog could run ahead to scout as the handler issued commands through an integrated microphone and speaker in the armor. The proprietary speaker system enables handlers to relay commands at low levels to the dog. ‘Handlers need to see and hear how their dog is responding,’ said [Jim] Slater [K9 Storm’s founder]. ‘In a tactical situation, every second counts.’ The encrypted signal from dog to handler penetrates fortified barriers like concrete, steel-fortified ships, and tunnels. That translates to standard operating ranges up to four football fields.” FastCompany.com. Woof!

Strange when it comes to dealing with insurgent terrorists – versus the large combat units of established governments – how direct contact, on the ground and in close quarters, is the best strategy available. Sure we like those drones and stealth aircraft, but in the end, it is the men and women – and dogs – of our military that are the ultimate implementers of our military policy.

I’m Peter Dekom, and I just remembered… I only have two cats!