They Hate Us… and They’re Right

Canadians? No, Americans!

They Hate Us… and They’re Right

O Canada, glorious and free!

O Canada, we stand on guard, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

”They defile the sacrifices of Canadian soldiers on a hundred battlefields around the world where they fought and died for freedom. They kept the peace often side-by- side with their American brothers and sisters in arms.” 

Steve Schmidt, Canadian journalist

Now we know what they are guarding against. One of the problems in dealing with a delusional American President seeking to find a positive legacy somewhere is that he is, well, delusional. He liked Greenland because it was big… and then he looked up and saw Canada, it was even bigger and richer in… immigrants with advanced degrees in science, medicine and engineering that couldn’t get into the United States, most certainly not with their families. That American tech companies were moving their research centers to regions of Canada, rife with glorious universities, very high standards of living, universal healthcare and massive safety nets for the disabled and elderly… speaks loudly on investors looking to future growth. Tenured professors at major American universities, under assault by an education-averse Donald Trump, are accepting faculty positions in Canada. Hey, Donald, what were your grades after daddy bought you an undergraduate spot at Wharton? We all figured out that you must have missed all your economics classes!

Given that the United States had a glorious past (e.g., pre-Trump), Canadians figure that they can learn how to live with a whole lot less trade with its enemy to the south, and besides, China is sending a team of trade representatives to see if they can make up the difference. Because with the United States taking itself out of the game, at least Canada has a glorious future waiting for her. California has always been very open to Canadians, especially in our local entertainment community, and Canada might as well add an 11th province in Palm Springs… except they are selling their homes there and returning to the motherland… because California is part of the United States. Hollywood even likes to shoot TV series “up there.” Except soon, the Canadian dollar soon will be too strong against its American counterpart.

Hey, we always wanted to join with our other west coast brethren in the US – we call the combination “Cascadia,” and become part of the Canadian Commonwealth. But Canadians are cancelling trips to the United States, even routing connecting trips that use to entail a stop here, by taking even longer routes to avoid the good old USA. As US NHL teams fly north to play Canadian teams, they are getting used to the boos during the playing of our national anthem. The reverse does not happen, because most Americans think the Canadians are correct in their taunts.

Well, we know one political faction in Canada that is grateful for Trump’s election interference: newly-elected Prime Minister Mark Carney, whose road to victory was based primarily on Trump’s 51st state annexation dreams. Carney stated that Canada will enter trade and security talks with the US on "our terms", has said. Following an election set against the backdrop of US President Donald Trump's tariffs and musings about making Canada the 51st state, Carney said that he would only pay his southern neighbor a visit when there is a ‘serious discussion to be had.’ How do I break it to him that Plump Trump will revel in “alternative fact” driven narcissism long before he even contemplates anything “serious.” Even the vast majority of the American electorate rolls their eyes at the thought of an American invasion of Canada. The closest Canada gets to MAGA ignorance may be the oil rich prairie provinces. The only shooting war likely to take place between the US and Canada will probably entail hockey pucks.

In the meantime, American-made products have been quickly removed from retail shelves, and it is considered near-treasonous for a Canadian to buy anything made in the US. But if you speak with most Americans about Canada and Canadians, there is a warm glow that emanates almost immediately. We like them; we really like them!!! Trump has this bizarre notion that any nation that gives US consumers a good deal is “ripping us off”… no, Donald, a “bad” trade imbalance only means we got everything on sale!!

Robert Gillies, writing for the April 29th Los Angeles Times, explains how big mouth Trump completely changed the course of the recent Canadian elections: “Pierre Poilievre, a [conservative] firebrand who campaigned with Trump-like bravado, had hoped to make the election a referendum on former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, whose popularity declined toward the end of his decade in power as food and housing prices rose and immigration surged.

“But then Trump became the dominant issue, and Poilievre’s similarities to the bombastic president seemed to be costing him support… ‘He appeals to the same sense of grievance,’ Canadian historian Robert Bothwell said of the Conservative leader. ‘It’s like Trump standing there saying, ‘I am your retribution.’ ’… Bothwell added: ‘The Liberals ought to pay him. Trump talking is not good for the Conservatives.’… Foreign policy hasn’t dominated a Canadian election this much since 1988, when, ironically, free trade with the United States was the prevailing issue.” Sigh. Funny, I like ice hockey, have seats for the Los Angeles Kings, our local NHL franchise and even represent a number of folks born in Canada. And I can do a mean Canadian accent both in English and Quebecois (it ain’t French!). “Banh sur, J’erray dan mon char maintenan, eh?”

I’m Peter Dekom, and if I were younger, and Trumpism were the long-term expected law of the land, I would have to think seriously about going north to watch hockey… and live the American dream in Canada, where it is still possible.