Look at That S Car Go!

They’re cute to some, tend to live a long time (up to 9 years “in captivity”), and have any number of warm and cuddly functions: Santeria, a religion with West African and Caribbean roots, uses them in their rituals, there’s skin care product out of South America that uses their slime (ewww!) and of course they make loving pets (not sure how they express that deep emotion). Of course, it’s the giant African snail, another invasive rogue species that has found its way to the United States… somehow. Baggage? Pet or religious or skincare import? Who knows, but “they’re here….”

They will eat just about any form of vegetation that they can find, and being more than just a tad bigger than the average snail, their consumption is a tad more noticeable. Florida has a new infestation, and authorities are finding lots: “More than 1,000 of the mollusks are being caught each week in Miami-Dade and 117,000 in total since the first snail was spotted by a homeowner in September 2011, said Denise Feiber, a spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services.” Reuters.com, April 14^th.

For countries used to the devastation, the effects still aren’t very pretty:  “In some Caribbean countries, such as Barbados, which are overrun with the creatures, the snails’ shells blow out tires on the highway and turn into hurling projectiles from lawnmower blades, while their slime and excrement coat walls and pavement.” Reuters. Lovely. Fits right in with the Florida architectural scene.

With each snail capable of producing 1,200 eggs a year, it looks like when the big guy arrives, there soon will be lots and lots of fellow munchers soon. “The last known Florida invasion of the giant mollusks occurred in 1966, when a boy returning to Miami from a vacation in Hawaii brought back three of them, possibly in his jacket pockets. His grandmother eventually released the snails into her garden where the population grew in seven years to 17,000 snails. The state spent $1 million and 10 years eradicating them.” Reuters. So from East Africa to the Caribbean to Hawaii to Florida? Ewww again! They are sexually mature five months after birth, and since “they are hermaphrodites… when you have two snails come together to breed, you have two pregnant animals that come away from that mating.” Los Angeles Times, May 4^th. How powerfully attractive!!!

But there’s another proclivity of these might mollusks that must have home remodelers jumping for joy: “These gooey and destructive mollusks grow up to 8.5 inches long, feast on 500 different types of plants and nibble on calcium-rich stucco, which they use to construct their cone-shaped shells.” LA Times. Stucco, that’s good eatin’! Know someone with an old cottage cheese ceiling they might want to remove “organically’? Oh there’s another little catch, they are also known to be carriers of meningitis through a common parasite that thrives inside these shell-shocked critters.

So wanna get back at these beasts? Eat ‘em. “Meanwhile, in Africa, where lots of people are starving to death, some groups are studying ways to use the snails for yummy, healthy meals.  It turns out that snail meat has more protein, iron, calcium, zinc, and other good vitamins than beef does.  Also, it's easy and cheap to get.  One good way to eat it is to make it into a pie.  But you have to be sure you cook the snails properly so you won't get meningitis from a parasite that likes to live in the snails.” piperbasenji.blogspot.com, September 23, 2011. Oh yummy, yummy, yummy! But that damn parasite again, spoiling my pie-eyed fantasy! Did I say, this was just a Florida issue these days? “Bad news for the Lone Star state: The slimy, parasite-carrying giant African land snails are heading southwest.” Huffington Post, May 8^th. Yee haaaa! Good eatin’! Get yor guns ready, Texas!

I’m Peter Dekom, and this is just one more reminder that it’s not nice to mess with Mother Nature!